Good vibes only.

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If I’m being honest, this week was rough. It was a short week {which makes me superrrr nervous about actually having to work a full 5 days next week…}, but it felt so difficult. Without getting into the details, it was extremely emotional, draining, and just all around not pretty. Do you know what I’m talking about??

Well, I’ve lived to see the other side {wasn’t sure I’d make it…}, but here we are and I want to share some thoughts with you that’ll hopefully make your life easier. We all run into trouble, unavoidable challenges – it’s a part of life. But it doesn’t have to be doomed to be terrible. Now I’m going to be discussing this in terms of a particular negative situation, but please feel free to tweak and apply as needed to whatever you’re experiencing.

Are you ready for the 5 things I learned/relearned this week in light of the dramaaaa!? Yes? Ok, read on, friend.

  1. Own it. You may not be wrong. You may actually be 99% right in whatever the situation may be. Own your 1%. I don’t think there will ever been anything where you honestly hold ZERO responsibility. There was something you could have done differently, something that you did that caused things to turn out the way they did. Don’t be that person that thinks they are always right. Own it even if it’s 1% – whether it’s 1 or 99, you had a part to play.
  2. Take time to reflect. This goes hand in hand with owning it. Once you identify your part in the matter, reflect on WHY. Reflect on WHAT. I realized some things about myself this week that were really eye opening to how I interact and move through life. Parts of my personality that have developed and been displayed throughout this wedding process that I didn’t realize were there. They were contributing to the strain being caused. What a helpful piece of insight! Even amidst the issues.
  3. What can you do to fix it? Now, of course, you can’t go back in time and change anything that has already happened. BUT you can always start right here in this moment and improve the future. No matter what has happened and where you’re starting from, it’s never too late to start fresh. If this is a situation with another person, ask what can be done. If it’s a solo situation, this will take some more reflecting. What can you do starting today to remedy what has happened?? It may be uncomfortable to think about this and hear the answers, but it will help ensure no further damage is done and you don’t make the same mistake over again.
  4. Remove the negative. I have a hard time letting things go. I’m not very good at waiting for time to pass before I address an issue. This both works for me and against me. I don’t sit long on issues or confrontations, but I also don’t allow enough cooling time. The cooling time is SO important in handling situations calmly and rationally. When you respond in the heat of the moment it gets ugly – trust me. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to completely remove yourself. Get out of the negative and take the time to cool. To think it over. Pray about it. Do what you need to do to get to that cool, calm, collective place. I know it’s hard – I’m working on this, but I think it’ll be extremely beneficial, especially going into a marriage.
  5. This is temporary. As with anything else in life, this moment in temporary. This pain you feel. This anger that has stirred up. This situation that seems so huge. It won’t last forever. Life is short – be careful to choose your battles and keep focused on what’s truly important. Will you feel silly when looking back on this? Is it worth being upset over? How will this impact your next day, week, month? I know in the moment things seem important, but as with the moment, life is short. There are absolutely worthy frustrations, but so much of what we get worked up over is meaningless in comparison to our priorities.

I hope you find this helpful. If so, leave a comment below and let me know how you handled your last difficult situation. We are in this together! ❤

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